J-Term is over

Finally J-term is over, I can take a breath now....but wait I have one week to write final paper. It was my first time to have J-Term and it was a very nice class actually. So far I noticed, the profesors were able to bring diferent point of view in balance. Four profesors from different point of view try to make sense human sexuality. Even though I myself was tired of talking about sexuality. Last semester I took sexual ethics' class and then followed by workshop about sexuality. Sexuality is an unending topic, whatever side we look at it, it is always interesting. My impression was great to have kind of general point of view in sexuality in term of spirituality, ethics, psychology and culture. Sexuality is something inherent. Culturally I have been formed by the society to say nothing about it. The best way to recognize sexuality in broader meaning is to aknowledge what is going on in my body. Ehm....I've gotta work hard now to start my 10-page paper.

Life is....

Life is full of uncertainties
It's like a game of chance
You play your cards
Out to the end,
Knowing there are no guarantees.

Life is many times unfair
No matter how hard we try.
We never seem to get
Our just reward,
Or even close to being there.

Life is free for you and me,
Is far from an absolute.
We pay our dues
In a million ways,
Flitting busy as a bee.

Life is a bowl of cherries
A simplification, indeed.
It makes us want to escape,
from all reality,
And live the life of the fairies.

Life is what we make of it,
Is the closest to the truth.
And when the spirit comes forth in us,
In our quest for happiness,
We no longer need to covet.

Sexuality

I've been busy for one week. I'm taking J-term for healthy sexuality. It's quite interesting to know different way of thinking about sexuality. In common conversation people just talk about sexuality in correlation with genitality. Actually, sexuality is wider than genitality. It involves our innermost being, something inherent, at birth. Anyway in sexuality class, we are divided in eight groups, each group consists eight people from different country. In m group for instance there are two vietnamese, one chinese, one Indian, two Americans, one Philipino, two Polish, and one indonesian. We share how to understand sexuality in our own culture. From that point of view we will have a wider understanding that sexuality is understood in diferent way in each culture. I was moved to share my own experience as well. I grew up in the Javanese culture where people still keep some traditional values and live in a very strong community. Sexuality in the Javanese culture is something private and secret. Something private here means that the society will let everybody to learn sexuality from his or her own experience. There is no special formation for man or woman to understand their sexuality. Something secret means that we never discuss sexuality publicly. It is impolite to speak sexuality publicly or it is “dirty talk”. Actually, the meaning of sexuality itself is limited in term of genitality. In the patriarchal culture, sexuality is about man’s business as well. It is uncommon for woman to speak of sexuality. Sexual intercourse is appropriate in the context of marriage. Premarital sex, prostitution, free sex are prohibited. When I was a kid, I learned sexuality from my own experience. I remembered when I got my wet dream for first time, I told my friends. I was proud of that experience. It was kind of sign that I became the real man. I have that experience in the process of becoming mature. Regarding sexuality, my culture just offers some boundaries. Crossing the boundaries means I have to be responsible in front of the society. Community forms and nourishes the values that are operative in the society. Here I find double standard, sexuality becomes private as well as public. It is something private as long as we do not cross the boundaries. It will be my personal business. It is something public if we cross the boundariess. The boundaries here are understood as some rules that we have to take for granted. As long as we do not cross the boundariess, (we obey the rules), it will be fine. However, it will be a great problem if we cross the boundariess. For example, my culture says nothing regarding masturbation but says clearly about premarital sex. Masturbation is something private, while premarital sex involves two people and it will ruin the convention. If the society knows people having sex outside the marriage, the society will condemn them and oblige them to get marry. My culture takes important part in shaping my understanding of sexuality. For a long time, I have problem to speak about sexuality publicly. I will be ashamed or embarrassed for me to speak about sexuality, because I am not accustomed to discussing that publicly. Here the culture really influences my perspective. I still keep in mind some values that are useful as guidelines to approach others. My own culture has shaped me in term of keeping in mind some borders. Crossing those borders means I do not belong to my community anymore, or I exclude myself from my community. For example, I do not agree at all with premarital sex or free sex. This stance originally comes from my own culture. As long as I keep in mind this stance, I am part of my community. If I refuse it, I will be an outsider of my community. The influence of culture sometimes works in subtle way. It works unconsciously and it will come up in spontaneous expression. Therefore, culture gives me a clear position on sexuality. Nevertheless, the education and formation I have in my life influence my understanding of sexuality as well. I studied in the Catholic school where sexual education was part of the curriculum. It gave me a true understanding about sexuality. My understanding of sexuality is a combination between the culture and the education I have. Fortunately, both sides complement each other.

New Year 2006!

New Year 2006!

New Year 2006!

Unbelieveable! Since December 19 last year I published nothing. I was occupied by my own busyness. Actually, I'm lying to say like that. There is time always for something important. Honestly, I was lazy to sit down on the chair and start to write. I just want to enjoy my spare time since I have a very short holiday. The last semester I spent time mostly to read and do my assigment. As soon as I finished my last paper on December 20, I organized my room directly, put in order everything and threw away all junk. I spent three days to prepare Christmas celebration and thank God I got ready on time. On Christmas eve, I went to the Cathedral of Chicago with Wawan and Alejandro. We took bus and train. Fortunately the weather was friendly around 38 F, so we were able to enjoy the city. Apparently, we went there too early while the previous mass was still going on. We knew what we should do, we came over to the Starbuck coffe to enjoy a cup of coffe. Oh..man that's fantastic! Anyway, it was raining when we entered the church. I felt it was a blessed Christmas for me. I had prayerful moment and tremendous celebration with a very nice choir. I wondered that many people came to celebrate Christmas. Even many people had to stand up. It was amazing. After mass we went home. In the morning, I went to China Town to have Christmas celebration with the Indonesian Community. I was in charge of accompanying the choir. Around 40 people came. It wasn't too bad, since some of them had vacation or came back to Indonesia. As usual after celebration, we had festive gathering. We enjoyed the Indonesian food prepared by Tante Imelda. She is a wonderful cook. Ehm....I did not want to pass through this moment. OK that's the story of christmas. It was my second christmas in the USA.

What's about new year? Wow..... fantastic! We as a community decided to have special celebration in the community and afterward we could go somewhere. Denny prepared kaleidoscop, kind of summary of what we have done up to now. Everybody was satisfied with Denny's performance, he is like a living calendar. Thanks Den! We had kind of reflection as well in the chapel, we prayed together hopefuly this coming year we would do better. Afterward we went to Navy Pier in downtown Chicago to enjoy fireworks. Happy New Year 2006!